WHY DID I DECIDE TO WEAR A HIJAB - PART 3

I havent been blogging for a long time ... tried to but failed!  Many times I got stories written all over my head, thinking that I would write soon after, but failed again. So, let me try again tonight and I promise to finish it off! Well, not tonight perhaps but I will continue writing until it is finished. So for those who are reading it and thought, why is this story sort of hanging, it means, I am still in the middle of writing it.

Never mind my grammar - who needs a perfect grammar when your head flows with words - well at least for now ! It has been nearly 20 months since I decided to don on a hijab! Whhaa at? 20 months?? really???
Oh wow, time passed without any warning. The wild child who donned a Hijab - who would have thought? My mom sort of gave up the ideas that I would ever wear a tudung. Well surprise,  Mak! God works mysteriously because I was surprised myself!

Almost right after I wore my first Hijab (I remember it was pink in color with some ornament hanging down  on both sides, I will remember not to give away my first Hijab, I should show it to my grandchildren the historic item) - Okayy dont mean to make a joke out of it but I am funny! really ! many people thought so! that is if  no one pissed me off ! (Okay my kitten Anakin is putting his face on the screen trying to get my attention  - now trying to walk on the keyboard))  That's what cats do - walk on keyboard. Why? because they can!

Ok right after II decided to wear hijab, I inherited Reach Out Malaysia (www.reachoutmy.wordpress.com) and Hijab N The City (https://www.facebook.com/HTC.BY.FEEXANICOLL) - I cant help but thinking that it was God way to pacify or maybe reward me for pleasing him . He knows  me so well, that if I were to be left alone, I would end up paying attention to some stupid reasons on why my Hijab was all over the place. But No! I became a Hijab Stylist and a Fashion Designer for Muslimah contemporary fashion.  me? I thought my hands are far too wild to be artistic but they are! wahoo !! ) Okay it is 1.02 am Malaysia time yawwwwn!!!  I am so sleepy and  I need to sleep and will continue this soon !

Jewel - Hands (Video) - the song that has kept me staying strong

The song that kept me staying  strong long time ago, when darkness engulfed me - when all I have was God.
I wasn't always the way I am now - but I have traveled far ... for those who have come to me for guidance remember this,  I was like you once and all that has guided me through was to do what was right :) :)
"IN THE END ONLY KINDNESS MATTERS, I WILL GET DOWN ON MY KNEE AND I WILL PRAY"
Reach Out Malaysia was born from my wanting for kindness - if you couldn't get it, you gave it first ...




Hands"

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

GOD CAN LOVE A FASHIONISTA TOO ...

I have not written for a long time  but I  wrote in my head all the time - my head talked to me all the time - but I feel the need to write today - I am thinking of minime - if she is alive, she would be 1 ! I found her around the same time last year - a tiny weeny little kitten - left in a lift to die - Naomi's friemd - Yasmeen found her ! We were supposed to foster her and our family voted to keep her instead..

I am thinking of her because she was lend  to me by God to keep me calm - same time last year, I turned my life to 360 degrees - I decided to wear hijab, I gave up my company , I have to take over Reach Out Malaysia's management after it was being dumped by the old commitee - my house was broken into,  I was at a point when I thought " I could carry only so much on my shoulders ...  I didnt know how to use the computer as good as I should .... But Minime was there to keep me company - she would  lie down on my keyboard when I  worked , she kept me company, she kept me sane . I am convinced now, it was because God wanted it to be that way - so I would go on and  be what I should be and could be  ...

Wearing tudung was not an  easy task for me - I didnt know how to tie it - but Minime was there to keep me company while I was fighting with myself, when satan whispered "why the hell do you don a hijab for?"  - I surfed through the net,  I searched, I looked,  I learnt and Hijab n the City was born at the tip of my fingers - could this be what it should be? Could this be what has been written ? Wouldnt I be restless had Minime didnt come to my life?

And today Minime should be a year old - but she was taken back 6 months ago by God - presumably he thought I was stronger enough and that I didnt need the little kitten anymore ... I couldnt help but thought, maybe that was the case.

But today, I could style a tudung like as if I was born to do it, I could make a head looks pretty (If there is such thing, really) and I now know sometimes your destiny is planned by unseen force - and as a fashionista who encouraged people to don on a hijab.  in a strange way - I paved my way to God's will, because a Fashionista too, is God's creation . I thanked him for giving me Minime for that short a time and for making me closer  to him in the weirdest way possible.

Happy Birthday Minime and Hijab n the City! My fashion show today -  'In Love With Leopard'  was dedicated to Minime and all the cats who have made somebody happy.  And today I proved that there can be miracles when you believed  .... Hijab n the City is a fashion brand .

WHY DID I DECIDE TO WEAR HIJAB - PART 2

If you are expecting me to say this " The reasons I am wearing hijab now is so that, the men will not be tempted of my beauty and to cover my modesty as not to flaunt my sexy figure and so that my father, my husband and my brother will go to Jannah - and if they go to hell, I wouldnt be guilty as I may be the reason bla bla bla" then wait a minute, let me laugh first ahahahahahahahahahahha !!!



what do you take me for?? an airhead or a floozy ?

Just because you are in hijab doesnt mean you are not an airhead and live just to please the men !! SAYS WHO LITTLE SISTERS?? (AND NOT SO LITTLE ONES TOO I MUST SAY??)



Dont use the Quran as your excuses - read and understand the Quran in between the lines first - everybody has their own responsibiities to God (man and woman respectively) . The other day I put up a skater's picture on my Facebook page. She is a Muslim girl and she was in some kind of an ice skating competition in Italy - She wore a head cover with her ice skating outfit. I felt admiration for her as someone who pursued her interest . Guess what?? few minutes later - there were attacks from left, right and center by women who said that she was sinful for showing her body in tight clothing - that God and his Prophet would damn her and that she was luring men whose eyes would be preyed upon her!

Whoa! apa ni? bila time pasal pakai tudung semuanya bukan main lagi bukak mulut tunjuk terror - konon mereka la yang terbaik - tapi balance la jangan double standard - how about bab-bab merpertahankan hak hak asasi manusia dan binatang? Kenapa tak bertempik? How about dalam bab-bab keadilan, maruah seorang wanita dan sebagainya?



Okay la ... I bukannya nak menyokong kalau sesorang tu pakai baju ketat - it's just that - why are these people only good in putting this kind of things out in the front but not the positivity side of life! This is the time when I dont blame the west for thinking that the Muslim women are so backward and all they want to do is to please the men! You make us strong women have a bad name laaaa !!Asyik - asyik isu bertudung tak sudah sudah!

eh ini I punyer blog suka ati la nak cakap ape! The truth is I am meluat with all the double standardization - u can addressed the tudung issue but make sure it is within the right context and deeper than the obviously physical side of it - if you are wearing a hijab to stop men from looking at you , then my question would be, "then how about when the children less than 10 years old got raped and the women in hijab who got raped too?? was it their fault too?? So, shouldnt men too lower down their gaze from seeing what they shouldnt?? And whether they do or not, isnt it part of what they should do? Is it not their responsibilities to Allah and not yours by taking the blame for it!




How about somebody who 'menegur' about my ponytail hijab ?? Hello sister! rambut I panjang so nak sorok camner?? nak pakai kelambu ke ?? Yang dimaksudkan dengan 'camel hump' itu adalah mereka mereka yang melenggukkan kepala dengan tujuan menarik perhatian atas sebab-sebab yang tertentu supaya lelaki tertarik kepadanya dengan sebab seksualiti .... (read in between the lines ). oiii !! jangan dgeneralisasikan sahaja.



THIS MONTH IS MY FIRST ANNIVERSARY WEARING A HIJAB - AND I M STILL PROUD OF IT AND HAVE NOT REGRET IT ONE BIT.
SO WHY AM I WEARING A HIJAB ?? SEBABNYA?? - INI ADALAH TANGUNGGJAWABKU KEPADA ALLAH - KERANA AKU TIDAK MAHU MATI MENYESAL. BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO BE THE BEST I COULD BE WITH ALLAH'S BLESSING, BECAUSE I AM READY AND HAVE STOPPED TO WONDER. BECAUSE ALLAH HAS HOLD MY HANDS DURING MY DARKEST DAYS. BECAUSE HE IS FORGIVING AND MERCIFUL, HE DID NOT CHOOSE WHO HE WANTS TO GIVE AND DESPITE OF, HE HAS GIVEN ME CHANCES OVER AND OVER AGAIN, HE HAS SHOWN ME LESSONS I COULDN'T GET ANYWHERE ELSE, HE HAS GIVEN ME STRENGTH WHEN NO ONE ELSE COULD. BECAUSE HE SHOWED ME THE WAY TO FIND MYSELF.



AND MOST OF ALL HE HAS GIVEN ME THE GIFT OF KNOWING ON HOW TO BE NON-JUDMENTAL AND TO KNOW THAT CHANCES HAVE TO BE GIVEN TO EVERYBODY REGARDLESS AND GOD HAS GIVEN ME THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON AND TO STAND UP TO PEOPLE WHO USE HIS RELIGION AND HIS QURAN TO THEIR ADVANTAGE !!




SO THERE !! AND IF YOU DARE GIVING ME STUPID OPINIONS ON TUDUNG AND ALL ACCORDING TO YOUR SICK MIND - BE VERY PREPARED TOO TO FACE ME - THE WOMAN WHO OWNS A TRENDY FUCHSIA HIJAB - BECAUSE THAT IS WHO I AM. YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT??

LIFE AS IT IS

‎"Life doesn’t give you the people you want. It gives you the people you need. To help you. To hurt you. To love you. To leave you. To make you into the person you were meant to be.

Don’t ever regret having a certain someone in your life, whoever they are. Sure, they may have broken your heart, they may have hurt you, they may have made you angry, but, without them, you wouldn’t have learned to become the person you are today.

People walk in and out of your life all the time. It doesn’t matter if they left, they left for a reason.

So, all in all, what only matters in the end, is that they made an impact on your life. They taught you new things, indirectly. They expanded your horizon, indirectly. They showed you how to love, how to feel loved, how to feel hurt and pain internally, how something so insignificant to one person may be totally, completely, entirely important to another.

Life gives us unpleasant people, wonderful people, and everyone in between, so we can be who we are meant to be. Not someone who is formed, and molded by useless labels and stereotypes.

The people in our lives define us, and mold us to be the best that we can be. So love and appreciate those that are in your lives now, and respect those that decided it was time to leave. They’ve contributed to the wonderful you, who is going to be doing great things one day. The you, you’re meant to be." ♥

CREDITS TO 'PROJECT SPIRITUALITY'

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MINIME - PART 3 - MINIME MON AMIE

Almost 1 and a half month have passed since Minime gone away in the arms of an angel – yes time has lessen the hurt when I chose not to think of her because when I do, I feel it all over again – like now. I miss by baby Kitten – she was 6 months when she died – not so little anymore but she was the baby in our family. I missed everything about her, I missed it when she stood at the corner of my wardrobe and looked up to me as I dressed up to go out … I missed it when she jumped into my car and refused to go out when I asked her too…
In the fast lane of my life where things always happened – time does not erased who she was to me – a special bond, the corners where she used to sleep still has her presence - she still lingers … I am the disciplinarian to all my cats and the one cat who needed no discipline, gone.
Mnime, Mama misses you – your squirrel comes to the garden every day and a week after you died – the butterflies came for you.

HIJAB 'N' THE CITY FAN PAGE : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hijab-n-the-City/108435222576771

LEGASI PEREMPUAN MELAYU PELIK TERAKHIR - PART 1

Terkilas nak cuba menulis dalam bahasa Melayu . Bukan tak mahu sebelum ni … Cuma tak mahu terlalu ‘feeling’. Menulis di dalam bahasa ibunda, perasaan seperti gabungan tulisan yang akhirnya bernyawa. . Pemahaman perkataan berlainan dek kerana dalamnya terasa . Aku yang membesar dengan berceloteh dalam bahasa Inggeris dan Melayu yang di ubahsuai sebagai perkataan harian sehingga kalau bercakap Bahasa Melayu sepenuhnya aku jadi terkedu .

Dan seterusnya aku mengikut gelombang waktu – Bahasa Inggeris adalah bahasa perantaraanku – seperti Sharifah Amani yang insist untuk berucap di dalam Bahasa Inggeris di satu Majlis Anugerah dan mengisytiharkan yang berbahasa Melayu baginya terasa macam orang bodoh. Maka Si Amani ditempelak seantero Tanah Melayu – tidak sedar diri kata mereka. Aku tidak terperanjat kerana aku tahu apa maksud si Amani – dan kurasa kebanyakan kawan-kawan ku juga yang berbahasa Inggeris bagaikan dilahirkan oleh seorang Ibu berbangsa Eropah.

Terperanjat kalian kalau sekiranya tahu – vokabulari Indonesiaku kaya kerana aku boleh membaca tatkala berumur 4 tahun diajar seorang Ibu yang mahu anaknya jadi yang terbijak dan tercantik – dirumahku hanya ada buku sastera Melayu dan Indonesia (kepunyaan ayahku yang belajar untuk mengambil peperiksaan sebagai guru mungkin) – yang kemudiaanya diusung anak kecil 4 tahun kesana kemari sebagai bahan bacaan dek kerana ketagihan ingin membaca. Ibu bapa kampungku bukan seperti sekarang, tiada buku ‘LadyBird’ atau pun mainan canggih seperti punyanya anak-anakku yang tidak menghargai pemberian apapun oleh kerana kemewahan zaman sekarang.

Aku yang menjadi Pelajar Terbaik Bahasa Melayu SRP dahulu kerna kecanggihan bahasaku tetapi noktah disitu. Aku mendirikan dinding disekelilingku yang dikelilingi oleh pelajar terpilih berasrama penuh termasuklah aku. Tapi aku adalah aku – tidak berjaya diacu, tidak jadi di acuan. Kekeliruan semasa remaja tidak membawa semangat untuk menjadi best student subjek lain walaupun aku mampu. Kerna kufikir, aku hanya akan dihargai sekiranya aku bijak dan cantik. Dan aku tidak mahu memenuhi expektasi sosaiti sekeliling. Jadi aku membesar merasakan aku tidak bijak dan tidak cantik. Aku memilih untuk diam dan mengobservasi kelilingku. Bukan kah aku dicop pendiam semasa remajaku? Kualiti yang nyata senang dibuli rakan angkuh yang merasakan mereka ada kelebihan atau pun berdna ‘perasan bagus’ dari lahir.

Nyata aku terpanggil untuk mengimbas zaman remaja silamku bilamana hari ni aku ‘block’ seorang gadis muda dari rakan FB - kukira umurnya kurang 25 tahun walaupun tahunnya dirahsiakan. (Masih muda tapi mahu merahsiakan umur? Ku kirakan aku mempunyai lebih sebab untuk merahsiakan umurku yang ‘kurang muda’ - di muka FBnya penuh dengan kutukan tentang mereka yang tanpa tudung , dan yang bertudung pula dikutuk tidak memenuhi syariat ? Perlukah semua itu untuk menggunakan ugama sebagai brand anda adalah yang terbaik? Siapa jurinya? Hakimnya? Apa kamu? Gadis hingusan yang belum punya atau tahu apa-apa? Perlu takbur dengan hidupmu yang belum merasa sengsara kerna ujian dilakukan oleh Allah keatas setiap hambanya. Orang yang bertudung dari umur 2 tahun mungkin akan keneraka dan Lady Gaga mungkin berubah berjilbab jika dibuka pintu hatinya… ‘Kun Fayakun’ jadilah – kuasa tuhan yang engkau ingat boleh dirubah.

Sakit kepala membaca nukilan sombong dan angkuhnya dan kutukan demi kutukan keatas mereka yang bertudung tetapi tidak mengikut kualiti SIRIM mungkin. Wahai adik, ada caranya menegur – tugas kamu untuk berdakwah dengan cara halus dan lemah lembut – selembut Rasullullah berbisik ketelinga Aishah – bukan mengutuk atau memulau. Jadi enggak mahu aku bersubahat dan mengiakan logikmu. Kakak ‘block’ saja ya FB mu.

Aku tidak pernah berbangga kerana lambat berhijab, tapi aku akan merasa hina jika megikut tanpa kefahaman atau membuta tuli mengikut kata mereka yang hipokrit dan menggunakan Tuhan untuk kelihatan pandai. Adakah aku perlu akur kepada sang lelaki kalau kufur disebalik keturunan Islamnya. Adakah aku perlu bergabung dengan mereka yang bertudung tapi masih menikam saudara seagamanya.
Aku masih tidak muat di acuan standard ‘SIRIM’ . Cuma perbezaannya – aku bukan lagi gadis pendiam zaman silam dan tidak bisa dibuli sesiapa - Kejayaan bagiku bukan hanya pangkat dan harta tetapi lebih dari itu.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PANG YAU!!

I used to see this Chinese Auntie every Saturday midnight – if I did go out for the midnight food distribution. Being a non-paid PR /Publicity/Event/Food Sponsor Director (the list go on to ‘kuli’ and ‘bidan terjun’ for emergency and if needed) – I have a choice not to be on the streets as we have our own dedicated non-paid ‘Food Run Leader’(as they are called) every single day. This is the time when I admire my husband Pete for never missing a beat on his duties as the Operation Director/ Run Leader both for Saturday 5.30pm and 12 midnight food distribution, every single week. Believe me, it could be so tiring and exhausted mentally and physically.

Back to this Chinese Auntie, she always waited around for our food at AlWira Restaurant – very quiet lady , don’t speak much and not chatty unlike some Saturday’s afternoon aunties who not only chatty but always asked for more and more and more (and it could really creep down on your nerves).

Today, we shared table as all tables were full, the auntie wanted to leave but I said stay, talk to me. So I am in the mood to be ‘kepoh’. (There are times, street feedings can make me highly strung as being an ‘Energy Master’ as what my students called me – I can read and feel people’s energy) – that’s why I stayed away when I have to.

So ok! Auntie and me talking bla bla and she told me she is 65 years old, all her siblings died, never married before and have worked in many places as domestic helper, confinement lady, factories, restaurants etc. Now she is old and she just does odd jobs here and there.( I am a Counsellor, I can always make people talk hehe!) I asked Auntie if she wanted ‘Teh Tarik’ – she politely said ‘No, thank you!’. I said “Never mind la, I pay!” and she smiled and nodded.

By then, some volunteers already turned up and huddled around our table. Auntie quietly moved away and I asked the Restaurant ‘Ane’ to send the ‘teh tarik’ to her.
As we prepared to go to do our food midnight run and Peter went to Cashier to pay our drinks , he found out all our drinks(plus the other few volunteers) have been paid by the Chinese Auntie! ‘Huh??’ I thought?
I went to her and asked her in my chinglish “aiyaa auntie why u pay aa?? You should keep your money maa??”
She answered me with a thankful look “Takpa la, you olang manyak baik, tiap-tiap minggu malam-malam datang kasi makan, saya hati manyak sayang …duit kalau takda manyak pun saya tak kira, saya kongsi”
(Translation: “It’s ok, all of you are nice people, every week, midnight you come and give me food, I feel very touch, I don’t have much money but I don’t mind sharing”)
I feel touched too. There were times when things were difficult and you just have to grit your teeth and moved on but those moments were erased by this sort of simple thing – that what we do in Reach Out boomerang and sometimes it is so fast!

My mom used to tell her friendS ‘My daughter, semua kawan dia Cina! That was because I lived in Hong Kong, mak! and when I went to Stamford College pun semua classmates Cina jugak! But because of that I grew strong and competed against the odd and the best! My Chinese friends did not judge me for being a ‘Melayu Pelik!’.
This is dedicated to my Chinese friends who are and were so much a part of me and contributed to who I am at one point of life or another, Happy Dragon Year !! Dragon is my favourite animal and I do not look at you guys as a race! I look at you as people with good human qualities and Im glad you are part of my life!

This article is dedicated to Teh Li June – my dearest friend from College and all those hopes and tears we shared – you and I are stuck as good friends for the rest of our lives, Elaine – we had fun being naughty in College, Mrs Chia who adopted me as her favourite student in Bintang Academy! Kymberley Tan – my dearest friend who kept me sane in Hong Kong, her sister Evelyn Tan for being sweet always! (You both made my years in Hong Kong bearable), Alice Nathan – my flatmate in Hong Kong, I never see you differently and I hope we will be friends again! Master Albert Eee – My Feng Shui Master who were there during my darker days and who later taught me Numerology – Thank you and it is time for me to move on. Dexter – whom I can always called to chat during those restless days. The late Shereen Leow – Who died at the hand of a violent boyfriend , I am sorry I wasn’t able to influence you to be strong and leave the bastard!

To my 2 Chinese housemates in Budapest, Hungary ! Hope you guys are having a good life now. Patricia, I remembered when I have to drag you out from a Club in Budapest because you were pissed drunk!!
Feung – you are always remembered as someone sweet and I miss our days with Janet at Master’s place in Kota Damansara. You accepted me as I am – the soul seeker!  .

To Wong Hee Ling my business partner in Nuskin - Long Benefit Malaysia currently – I stay because of your value ! All the other Chinese Business Partners in Long Benefit Malaysia – you guys rock!! Mrs Vera Waters and Benny Cheung (Business Partners and Uplines from Nuskin Long Benefit Hong Kong) – both your passion sustain me in the business !

Patricia Lum, our sweet Mentor who are also our Advisor in Reach Out’s operations!

And last but not least, our Chinese Volunteers in Reach Out Malaysia , thank you for being a part of us! You guys make Reach Out truly One Malaysia and not to forget all the other races too!

This video is dedicate to you guys !! All of you – each one of my Chinese Friends on FB ! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !! GONG XI FA CHAI!! MAY ALL OF YOU BE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING ALWAYS !!


朋友 (Pang Yau - Friend of Mine) - Alan Tam Wing Lun (譚詠麟)

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MINIME - June 2011 - 30/12/2011 - part 2

Caption: Minime with Pete when she was a month :)


Today is the first day of the year 2012. A brand new day. For me, today is the 2nd day that Minime did not wait for me infront of my bedroom to follow me to the kitchen for her breakfast. Usually she would be there with Spikey. What happened normally, she would run to Pete who would still be sleeping. Jumped in into our bed, snuggled to him and jumped back out to follow me down.

I woke up quite early after a sleepless night and opened the bedroom door. Only Spikey was there. I sat on top of the stairs and looked out through the glass window – I could see the hilly road where Minime was killed and not far from there, where she was buried. I sat awhile and indulged in the grieving moment – my body still sore from maintaining my composure during the Reach Out Event yesterday.

I went down and opened the side sliding door, a rush of fresh air came through and let out all the remaining 4 cats to the garden and almost wished Minime would rushed out to the garden as well. The other cats seemed to know, they were quiet and not their normal selves. I came out to the corridor overlooking the garden and sat there a long time. My ears deafening, my body was numbed. I processed my thoughts. Where could she be now and made a silent request to God if he would allow Minime to sit at the feet of his angels so she wouldn’t feel alone and not missed us that much.

It hurts to see Minime’s empty bowl beside Spikey – had the urged to put her favourite fish but decided not to be a psycho . I am still sane, don’t worry. I don’t need anyone’s approval to grief and no she wasn’t just a cat. She was one of us. She was family.

Naomi put a sign on a tree she made yesterday to ask everybody to slow down . I saw cars slowed down to read her plea and grief – so many beloved dogs and cats killed on that road and no speed bumps. I hope some of our neighbours who lived on top of the hill will slow down from now on. Innaz went to her grave and beautify it with flowers. Pete, my tough husband who had done dangerous jobs heading Police Force in Scotland and Hong Kong too put his head down and cried in silence. In our household , all living beings are loved equally.

There’s wind, butterflies, birds and hills where we stayed - just how Minime liked it. If you don’t mind God, please let her be in your garden more beautiful than what she used to have with Spikey – her surrogate cat brother who helped to raise an orphan kitten. Who taught Minime how to catch butterflies and lizards. Please let your angel watched over her.

The wind still blowing as I weep. I know this too will pass but for now, let me remember …